Disability Rhetoric

I think the first important moment in this class that I want to discuss is Sins Invalid. The film was beautiful and it really stuck with me throughout the course. I wrote in my journal, “The art they created was beautiful, emotional, and I found myself incredibly inspired by their authenticity.” I am a very artistic and creative person, I spent a lot of my time on the stage growing up. I understood the stage as a place to express yourself and your experience, to show the world a piece of your soul and hope to get them to understand. I think this was the first moment I truly began to understand the experience of those with disability. It was the first time I was able to connect and relate to their experience. I understood their need for love, acceptance, to be seen in a different light. I felt like there was a crack in the foundation of my original understanding of disability after watching the film.

Another big moment throughout the course for me was understanding the disability community in terms of a marginalized group. This was another way I managed to relate and empathize with this community as a person belonging to another marginalized group. I wrote in my journal, “For marginalized groups, we crave the feeling of belonging because it is this notable experience that fills us with pure joy”. I remember the moment I was truly accepted as a Palestinian woman and how much joy and success I felt when it happened. I remember that longing slipping away and now I understand why the disability community yearns for it so strongly. I was able to understand their need to belong, to find a place that would accept them as people. I have spent a long time looking for the same thing, I understand their feeling of displacement and need for acceptance. I think a trend I’m starting to see in my personal journey is the need to connect personally and find understanding in that sense in order to truly widen my knowledge.

I think the last moment I want to discuss is masquerading. The entire need for the concept upsets me. I had learned about masquerading before in previous classes applied to different groups. Every single time we discuss it, it angers me. I hate that we live in a society that makes people feel like they can’t be authentically themselves. That they need to hide their disability, race, religion, background, or aspects of their personality in order to be treated in a respectful way by others. I wrote, “It is incredibly damaging to a person’s identity. At the same time, those that do choose to pass if they can are shamed by their community as hiding or being ashamed of themselves when they aren’t. This whole concept feels like a double ended sword.” I remember being infuriated for the rest of the day after this conversation in class and carrying that anger with me for the rest of the day. I made a promise to myself to make sure that every person I encountered or built a relationship with would feel comfortable being their authentic self around me without feeling at risk of disrespect or discrimination by me. I want everyone around me to feel safe to allow themselves to be nothing more than what they are because that is more than enough.