Memes and the Online Community they help Cultivate

Isabelle S4 Comments

My work here is mostly just the beginning structure of my analysis and essay, so not everything is gonna be well structured yet.

[Insert Introduction here]

Rhetoric online is very diverse, and for the untrained mind might even be indecipherable. There are many etiquettes and rules to follow, mostly safety procedures put in place to protect users anonymity. However, in recent years these unspoken rules have grown less common, with a sort of emphasis on commodifying the self taking more focus in online communities. This is in part due to the rise in online influencers who occupy the space between celebrities and everyday creative people, and in part due to consumerism and the advertising and emphasis on the self being profitable and marketable (Keeping in mind this also runs through a more individualized westernized online experience). This is one reason why we see a lot of changes in online crip space, and why where these spaces take place matter. The medium of social media changes depending on which platform you are occupying. Twitter is oriented towards short, bite-sized posts, and much like Instagram and Facebook as well, popularity, or the big numbers, are mostly status-based. And sites such as TikTok, Reddit, Tumblr and parts of Youtube, are merit-based, which is to say engaging with an audience is going to be favored. This further ties into the commodification of the self, which is further encouraged by such sites which allow for the audience to further engage with the people behind the screens. But what if you aren’t looking for the big numbers? This is what a majority of social media users experience, so we see smaller communities’ creative rhetoric on these apps as well. All of this context is important to keep in mind because it does influence the rhetoric of the sites. 

For the sake of this project, I want to focus on the length and depth of rhetoric on social media, and how this fosters communities online. I went into this project thinking that the length of discussion usually mirrors its nuance, so it is unlikely to see very complex experiences captured in short-hand, brief posts. However, after reading more into the origin of memes and their connection to genes and evolution and knowledge, I have realized that they are absolute goldmines for rhetoric. 

The similarities between genes and memes are ever-present, in that they both want to survive and multiply, which genes take this to a biological level, and memes a cultural one. Memes rely on complex online contexts, some of which span decades, and it is through this collective knowledge that people online are able to create new meaning in the form of new meme formats or altering and mixing other meme formats. You get something a bit like this:

A cartoon person holding their hand up to gesture at some. Superimposed are three images. In the top right is a cowboy boot. Over the person's face is a coiled snake. At the bottom is a person's face with the words It's Free Real Estate on it.
[Analyse the meme yeehaw]

It is this shared knowledge that people are able to decipher and derive meaning. This meme, captioned by “brain fog be like”, uses this base knowledge of the meme 

When it comes to the disabled community online, there is an expansive amount of information to be found. Within my research I have found two spheres of communities in these spaces. There are a lot of posts that are informational, that are more oriented towards non-disabled people, or people who are new to the online community. They could be helpful to newly-disabled people or people who need information on how to support their disabled friends. The second sphere is more focused towards people in the community. It is founded on the basis that the information found in the first sphere is already known fairly in depth. This foundation is used to have more nuanced discussions, share more specific experiences, and where a lot of the memes are found. For instance, the migraine memes use words like, “brain fog” and autism memes discuss “masking” without feeling the need to explain these words because it is expected of the audience to already be familiar with these terms — usually the audience is people within these communities. There is a generalized knowledge based on common experiences that is used to create relatability and quickly convey a lot of rhetoric. It is the context of this rhetoric that allows it to take shape. 

There is a distinction to be made between yourself in the physical world, the “irl-self”, and the online-self. The anonymity that comes with being online, coupled with its more accessible nature, makes online crip space something very fascinating to consider. Social media is accessible from anywhere with the internet, so long as you have a phone or computer, which makes it especially easy to access. However, some downsides are notable. Lighting of screens could be especially harsh and things like eyestrain and flashing lights are still things people have to look out for. When it comes to crip space, [insert research with sources]

I found more memes on the internet and would like to analyse them as a class together. I’ll be showing them on the board too:

“Found a meme page for my disability and I have never in my life felt more validated and comforted by the fact that my experiences are shared by others who are like me and we can laugh about these things together because they get it.” – shiphappen-s, tumblr

When you sublux a joint(about ehler danlos):

Once Upon An Ivory Castle

unsureunderwaterobot3 Comments

I have written and rewritten the first sentence of this course journey narrative a dozen times. I think I will just tell it like a chronological tale.  

Once upon an ivory castle, there was an English class. The class was bountiful in credits and aligned beautifully with my schedule, so alas, I registered. To my pleasant surprise, the class was all things activism—a passion that runs rampant through my veins. The class began unlike many, recognizing positionality and introducing ourselves on an interpersonal level. Already, the professor was breaking the fourth wall and making space to include students of all diverse backgrounds.  

The first day of class a rush of nerves spiraled in my stomach and up my spine. It was my first class meeting in person in two years. The classroom was dark, a basement cellar of sorts, but we recreated the space into something much more vibrant. The vibrancy of this space was cultivated through the words we shared.  

“Disability studies,” a subject I was barely acquainted with. Before the start of the quarter, I understood the social model of disability, but did not have the language to articulate it. I understood the dangers of pity and inspirationPorn, but I was unaware of the proper language and the more philosophical/rhetorical influences of disability studies. I was ignorant of the nuance of disability studies. I did not have exposure to many anecdotal experiences of folks with diverse disabilities. I did not know about the exact legislation regarding disability rights. I had minimal knowledge regarding Kiarotic spaces, crip space/time, Metis, or other intersections of disability and rhetoric. Before this class, I had a loose understanding of disability studies, now, eleven weeks later, I feel more well-rounded and have the language and understanding to ask more questions moving forward.  

In the first weeks of class I felt hesitant to give my perspective on disability-oriented topics. I felt comfortable expanding on the greater hierarchal structures and connecting the topics in class to ideas I understood, but I did not want to mis-speak. As the quarter went on, I grew more confident expressing my questions and ideas surrounding the subject.  

Several aspects played a role in becoming more comfortable in class, the key player was gaining knowledge. I gained the proper terms and understanding to participate courageously. Additionally, the dynamic environment aligned with the way my brain functions. The class was flexible in a way that allowed for fluidity. There were no wrong answers, just concepts to be further discussed. I felt comforted by the nonacademic aspects of the class, I learn best visually and through storytelling; our word maps and nonfiction readings/viewings provided an ideal learning environment.  

Overall I came a long way in this class. It was structured in a way that I was able to stay (mostly, with the exception of  sick days) engaged in the content. I know everyone has a different learning style, but if I could learn all subjects through this pedagogy, I would have a much more successful college experience.  

My Disability Studies Journey Through Learning and Acceptance

Turnip Friend1 Comment

One of the first quotes I commented on that affected me early into the quarter on September 27th was from the section of the O’Toole reading where the group is doing an exercise to see if the members believed they were disabled. O’Toole states that, “The forty women who joined the “not Sure” group were all women that…. I would easily consider to be disabled.” Commenting on this quote I wrote, “This quote was really meaningful to me because when people don’t have obvious disabilities it’s very easy to not realize they are disabled. I know I have some impairments that may be considered a disability but really I’m not sure if they would qualify.” Part of the reason why I wanted to take this class in the first place was to figure out if I can claim the title of disabled as an autistic person who has never pursued accommodations until recently, in particular because I’ve been very successful in both school and work. What I never considered until taking this class is that the toll my success it takes on my bodymind and how long it takes me to mentally recover from even a few hours masking is not something to be ignored and I shouldn’t have to feel the need to wait until my breaking point to ask for accommodations.

On October 11th the journal prompt was for us to describe our relationship to identity/culture focused disciplines, and I wrote, “I haven’t taken classes on many identity/culture focused disciplines. However, being in this class has affected me in that I’m more comfortable talking about the issues disabled people face, whereas before I had avoided the subject.” Reflecting on this quote I began thinking about why I had avoided the subject of Disability until now, and I think it’s just because I knew that if I opened that can of worms for myself I wouldn’t be able to close it again. Because of this class I have begun to pay far more attention to my needs as an autistic individual and look at my experience with autism in a kinder light instead of powering through and ignoring my mental health as I was taught to throughout my youth. I have been able to do this because I have learned more about how to look at myself and others through a disability studies lens rather than an ableist one. The phenomena of the conflation health and disability is one that blew me away because I had always unconsciously and incorrectly believed in it just like the women in the O’Toole reading who were unwilling to immediately embrace a disabled identity.

My last important quote was in regards to the phrase “temporarily disabled” from 10/25 where I said, “This is an important phrase because I think most non-disabled people think that disability is usually caused by mistakes, tragic events, poor self-care, and so it can usually be avoided if you’re say a safe driver or take care of your body.” I still think that this is true because I certainly had the idea ingrained into me when I was young and thought I was neurotypical, and it has taken me a long time to feel secure in the fact that I can perceive myself as disabled without having been through a major accident that was the result of the negligence of myself or others. Coming from a family that espouses phrases like “I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” and whose main values surround the idea that one must always be proving their value and usefulness to the world and to the people around them, the idea that I might not be as capable of adhering to that sort of grind culture in the same way that they do was a hard pill to swallow. However, being in this class and reading through the Disability Visibility book about all of the great things disabled people around the world have been able to accomplish for themselves and others often because of their disabilities has been incredibly inspiring to me, even though I have tried to avoid viewing these individuals through a lens of inspiration porn. Overall this course was very challenging for me on a personal level, but I know that the ideas I’m taking away from this class have already and will continue to benefit me in the long run.

A Journey Through Crip Time and Kairotic Space: Four Months in ENG401

Clover10 Comments

My twelve-week journey through ENG401: Disability Writing and Rhetoric has felt too short, and as my rhetorical skills grow stronger the more I write and study in class, the end of the quarter also draws closer—yet I know that opportunities to apply what I have learned will readily appear as I complete my English Literature degree at Western. Out of everything, I am the most grateful for the rhetorical and discursive terminology and strategy I have learned this quarter in ENG401: such as metis methodology, or the concept of an utterance, or the templates we received October 22nd for reliably articulating theses of academic research papers. So, I’ve taken time alone with my course journal, the piece of writing I am most proud of from any of my classes this quarter, to measure my academic growth as a writer, rhetor, and as a student of disability studies over the last four months. Below, each month I’ve spent in the course has one quote from the prompted journal entries which kicked off each class meeting ascribed to it. I hope that each quote demonstrates in detail my academic position at that time, and each month’s associated motif captures my feelings towards the processes of the course, which I have labeled as Gathering, Observing, Analyzing, and Connecting.

September: Gathering

“Simi Linton’s deconstruction of words as something we understand, but also something we feel—or do not feel—about, inspired me to reconsider the words I use on paper vs. in common speech”

  • Session three, 9/27/21

In September, classes had just begun and I had so much ableist rhetoric and language to unlearn, it was hard to keep my journals free of unintentional yet offensive language towards the disability community. However, my quote demonstrates a close reading of the assigned text, and a resonance with the personal, which is evidence of my willingness to grow as I gathered knowledge and gained familiarity with course concepts (like the social model of disability or passing), earning experience as a rhetor at the same time. At this stage, I was still grappling with the language I needed to make direct and accurate claims about assigned readings.

October: Observing

“In America, the body is taught from the perspective of nondisability, homogeneity, and thought of as one coherent system that cannot function otherwise. This frame of thought approaches disability as a deviation from the ‘true’, otherwise nondisabled self.”

  • Session seven, 10/06/21

October is when I began to gain confidence in my knowledge of rhetorical situations and appropriate disability studies language. In my quote, words such as “nondisability”, “frame of thought”, and “deviation” are such demonstrations of improved rhetorical vocabulary and comfort with DS terminology. By session seven, I was using this more advanced language to make specific assertions about assigned texts, but rarely was able to go a level deeper into analysis.

November: Analyzing

“[viewing] Conference spaces as kairotic spaces put emphasis on their dynamism in joining spontaneity with professionalism.”

  • Session twenty, 11/05/21

In November, class meetings fully expected our engagement in, and development of, analyses of rhetorical situations: from the perspective of the exigence, audience, and constraints, with selected authors of course texts frequently being compared to one another through creative avenues of discourse. My quote shows that by the twentieth class meeting, I was able to develop unique claims about rhetorical concepts and how they interact with real-life scenarios, further proof of my growth as a writer, reader, and rhetor.

December: Connecting

“While [one classmate]’s project focused on communication and coping within relationship categories, [another classmate] was concerned with bringing to light an uncentered issue. So in that way, both sought to educate with their projects.

  • Session twenty-nine, 12/01/21

December—when the course drew to a close! While my quote relates to a peer review and workshop of ENG401’s major project drafts, I feel that it shows my ability to connect metadiscourses within the realm of disability studies. One student’s paper takes an interdisciplinary angle of political science and disability studies, and the other a psychological approach. As of now, I have experience in comparing two things which at face value might seem different. Ease in forming connections with others, and connecting the directions students have taken their final projects back to the content of the syllabus has been the result of my time in ENG401, and I feel this has made me a better writer by any standard.

In truth, the construction of this blog post relies to a moderate extent on skills and strategies I have learned in ENG401. I hope that my course journey provides encouragement in pursuing that which appears difficult, but is manageable with proper organization and assistance. More than anything, I want to thank my professor and classmates for a memorable quarter!

Vermon’s Journey

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Where I started….

I entered this quarter with no knowledge of Disability Studies but with experience surrounding disability. I had little to no expectations for the content I would encounter. I assumed I would enjoy learning about the discourses surrounding disability. Then we watched “The Kids are Alright” and I remember thinking, “Oh my god! am I an evil, horrible ableist?” I was immediately untrusting of the content and creator which sparked a small internal crisis. At this point, I knew I was in for a bumpy ride the rest of the quarter.

The journey, itself.

I believe about every other week something we discussed in class triggered me. Sometimes I hid it well, other times I think it was obvious I was incredibly upset. This was a class that I either viscerally hated or was enamored with. This is mostly my fault. I engaged with a topic that triggered me repeatedly, sometimes bringing it into readings where it was not present. I am, of course referring to focus of my project, normalcy.  I have identified it to be almost the root of evil but also the supporting structure for most things we discussed. This only reinforces my first main takeaway from the quarter, understanding the audience is key to effective communication. There have been a few instances where I have misjudged my audience this quarter. Our discussions in class have made me more conscious of how “[a] message changes or gets lost very easily depending upon the audience” and my way of approaching my intended audience. I tend to dedicate a lot of energy to considering my audience’s needs, agenda, and values. I dedicate even more energy towards this as learned I need to consider a potentially unintended audience. There has have been a couple issues such as Masquerade, Prosthesis, and language that have highlighted that occasionally it is the unintended audience who hold more power over the discourse or situation surrounding an issue than the intended audience. Thus, it is negligent to just simply ignore a potentially unwanted interpretation of your message. This is also why contextualization is important, especially when engaging critically with a text. As demonstrated by anything written by Dolmage, context is vital when dealing with abstract concepts. In a particularly comedic moment, I gave another classmate a quote with a contextualizing sentence attached to help them interpret an abstract sentence. I had wanted to hear someone else’s thoughts on the concept he was referring as it seemed very out place in his rhetorical flow. They asked for context. I had thought I had given context, but it was not enough. To be honest I am not sure I could have given this classmate anymore context because the context I gave was all I had myself.

Arriving at the Destination.

I am happy the journey is over. I am really exhausted. It was a fun but tiring trip. Lastly, I want to touch back upon “The Kids are Alright”. My concern over holding abelist veiws was not unwarrented. It would be odd if I did not hold some abelist veiws because I have grown up in a violently abelist society. This is something we all will have to struggle against and engage in self-critique to overcome.

Disability in Gaza

turtle3 Comments

Author’s Statement 

            A lot of the work I have done throughout my years at Western Washington University has been oriented towards Palestine and the occupation. I wanted to find a way to talk about disability in the context of Palestine, it was something I thought of a lot throughout the course. As a Palestinian woman and activist, I see a lot of disability in the context of war. Children, adults, seniors who peacefully protest for the right to their land and end up getting attacked and physically disabled as a consequence. I became curious about how disability effects people as a result of violence. What are the effects on children? What is medical treatment like if it is so sparse? How many people end up disabled due to occupation in Palestine? I decided to narrow my focus to the Gaza strip, the most impoverished and targeted region in Palestine. My aim with this paper is to widen my understanding of disability in the context of war as well as connect with readers on an emotional level about the topic through a creative essay. I learn best when I can personally connect or become emotionally touched and so I would like to try to get my readers to connect on that level as well as through a factual, analytical essay. 

Disability in Gaza 

            Disability is not a topic that is typically studied within the school system in the United States. While many of the people around us are affected directly and indirectly by disability, it is not often we here about the experience of those with disability. Due to this lack of knowledge, it is difficult to take on an advocacy role for the disability community. In this paper, I will be taking a closer look at disability caused specifically by warfare and violence and its effects on mental health on the people of Gaza. 

            Palestine has been under Israeli occupation for the last 73 years. Throughout this occupation, Israel has broken 23 international laws of warfare, which are created and enforced by the United Nations, repeatedly. These include the targeting of children, elderly, and people with disabilities, the use of illegal weapons, chemical warfare, and more. An example of this can be found in an article by Human Rights Watch, “A March 2019 UN Commission of Inquiry report found that Israeli forces fired on people with disabilities, among other identifiable groups, “knowing who they are,” although protesters did not pose an imminent threat in the vast majority of cases they investigated, making those killings unlawful.” (Human Rights Watch).  Consequently, many Palestinians acquire physical disabilities because of violence and to make it even more dire, they do not have access to the medical care that they need due to the fact that Israel decides what materials, medicines, and people enter and exit the Palestinian territories. I will be looking at the occupied territory of Gaza, a sliver of land that now serves as a large, open-air prison for about two million people. The people of Gaza cannot leave by land, if they come within fifteen feet of the fence, they are shot and killed. If they try to leave by boat on the Mediterranean Sea and their boats will be shot down by the Israeli enforced barricade along the coastline and survey it twenty-four hours a day. With less than 4% of the water being drinkable, constant bombings, and electricity that only lasts four hours a day (if that), surviving is almost impossible, let alone living. 

            Let’s start out by looking at a few statistics. Statistics on warfare in Palestine are very difficult to find due to the fact that people and information are not allowed in or out of Palestine under Israeli imperialism. AlJazeera, a Middle Eastern news website writes, “About 48,000 people in Gaza, or about 2.4% of the population, have a disability. More than one fifth are children.” (AlJazeera). If you do the math, this means that of the two million people in Gaza, 9,600 are disabled children being overlooked by Israel and the United Nations. According to the Human Rights Watch, “The UN Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (UN OCHA) notes that 498,776 Gaza residents, or 25% of Gaza’s population, experience psychological distress and have a mental health condition.” (Human Rights Watch). It can be inferred that a lot of that psychological distress is caused by living in danger every day while also trying to find ways to survive. They have to worry so much about where their next meal is coming from, or when they will have access to electricity for heat and light, the basic needs a human has and because of that, they cannot focus on healing their trauma and instead it becomes worse. This results in mental health issues that can become debilitating quite quickly without the help of professionals. The Human Rights Watch also notes, “In 2018 and 2019, according to the UN OCHA, 156 Palestinians had limbs amputated after being wounded by Israeli fire during demonstrations along the fences separating Gaza and Israel” (Human Rights Watch). This is only one form of violence among many. 

            A lot of the issues that people with disabilities face are made significantly more difficult, sometimes impossible, due to the occupation. The first example of this is lack of electricity, “The effect of recurring power cuts on people with disabilities who need light to communicate through sign language, or electric lifts or scooters to get around.” (AlJazeera). With getting little as four hours of electricity a day, due to Israeli control of the only power plant in Gaza, it makes it difficult for people who are visually or audibly impaired to communicate with those around them. This becomes a large problem when the people of Gaza are constantly at risk of being bombed throughout the day. If one cannot see or hear the bombs and they have no light to communicate through sign language with people around them, it becomes a large complication in terms of their safety as well as their mental health. Without being able to communicate with others, people are also isolated and separated from their community and their support system. Not to mention the fact that those in electric wheelchairs are incapable of moving around for days at a time. With no means of transportation, how are they supposed to take care of themselves and their families? The many restrictions, especially those on supplies and travel, placed on the Palestinian territory also takes a large toll, “The restrictions prevent people from getting training and prevent outside experts from entering Gaza.” (Human Rights Watch). Doctors cannot be trained to give medical care to those that need it and if they did have the training to do so, finding the medical supplies is another hindrance they face. The lack of access leads to a lack of medical support that many need in order to survive, especially those constantly being threatened by violent acts. Without that support these people cannot stay healthy, let alone thrive and find joy in life. They do not have the means to succeed or to be given the chance to thrive, “The Israeli-imposed electricity crisis, shortages of assistive devices, and an inaccessible physical environment, block people with disabilities from living independently and fully participating in their communities.” (Human Rights Watch). We have seen the power that community brings to a person with disabilities’ life. They get opportunities to thrive, to live, to believe in themselves. They have support for any sort of trauma or negative thoughts or feelings towards their disability by being part of a community. This is seen as a luxury in Palestine, something a lot of people with disabilities do not have access too. For a child, traumatized from war with no access to medical assistance, and living in fear being cut off from their community is the cherry on top of a mountain of destructive problems they must face. 

            Children are also greatly affected by war; it causes mental health issues as well as emotional and physical health. When a child undergoes disability as a result of violence, it will inevitably change them in a physical, emotional, and mental capacity. Nirmala Erevelles writes about the effects of wartime on people within the disability community, “Children exposed to war experience post- traumatic stress, anxiety and depressive symptoms, psychophysiological disturbances, behavioral problems and personality changes, as well as physical traumas resulting from injury, physical deformities, and diseases such as tuberculosis, malaria, and parasites.” (126, Erevelles). The toll it takes on the mental, physical, and emotional health of a child is dramatic. It can change the way they see the world, cause them to live in a state of constaniut fear. A lot of these mental health issues can also become debilitating and affect their everyday life. R. Srinivasa Murthy records the following statistics, “In a series of studies during the last 10 years from the Gaza Community Mental Health Centre, the most prevalent types of trauma exposure for children were witnessing funerals (95%), witness to shooting (83%), seeing injured or dead strangers (67%) and family member injured or killed (62%).” (Murthy). The majority of children in Palestine suffer from trauma and other mental health issues that affect their everyday life. Disability caused by war causes them to grow up quicker, have a more negative outlook on life, and destroy their dreams of a brighter future. According to this article, at least 10% of these children will be left with mental health issues that will negatively affect their ability to function as a person. Without the assistance to manage and deal with these issues, as well as the physical ones caused by war, they resort to a life of misery and helplessness that they do not have the tools to push through. 

            In the end, for those that become disabled or are disabled during war and in the face of violence, simply surviving is a challenge. With lack of resources and medical knowledge, it can become impossible to survive, let alone thrive. “The sheer scope of this violence should be difficult to ignore, and yet it is ignored; its invisibility is justified by the imperialist/neocolonial state that aims to regulate and control differences seen as disruptive to the “natural” order of global civil society.” (Erevelles, 131). We need to put a focused light on those struggling with disability that call for the help of others. We cannot turn a blind eye to those who cannot fight for themselves, we must advocate and educate those around us in hopes of making a difference for the lives of these people, these children. They are human and they deserve the attention, support, love, and community that we all do in this life. 

Works Cited 

Al Jazeera. “Gaza: Life ‘Extraordinarily Difficult’ for People with Disability.” News | Al Jazeera, Al Jazeera, 3 Dec. 2020, https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/12/3/life-in-gaza-extraordinarily-difficult-for-disabled-hrw. 

“Gaza: Israeli Restrictions Harm People with Disabilities.” Human Rights Watch, 21 Apr. 2021, https://www.hrw.org/news/2020/12/03/gaza-israeli-restrictions-harm-people-disabilities. 

Hall, Kim Q. Feminist Disability Studies. Indiana University Press, 2011. 

Murthy, R Srinivasa, and Rashmi Lakshminarayana. “Mental Health Consequences of War: A Brief Review of Research Findings.” World Psychiatry : Official Journal of the World Psychiatric Association (WPA), Masson Italy, Feb. 2006, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1472271/. 

Inherently Beautiful

            We spend our childhood, our lives, being told what our bodies should look like. That they should be thin and fit, covered in muscle and a delicate layer of tan skin. That women have elegant curves, shaping them to look like a sand filled hourglass. Breakable and ethereal. Men must be made of unbreakable muscle, the six squares on their stomach symbolizing strength and sex. This is what matters the most. The way the body looks in the eyes of the beholder, the way it feels so soft and perfectly smooth when pushed against another. We take hours out of our day to go to the gym, sweat dripping from our bodies as we aim for an unattainable goal. We restrict the food we eat in order to make sure our diet doesn’t hold us back from getting there. We miss out on so much of life trying to fulfill this standard. The one we set for ourselves without asking why? What for?  

            You know those moments? The ones that seem to wake you up from a dream, one you don’t notice you’ve spent so long stuck in until someone snaps their fingers in front of your face and you’re suddenly awake? Well, I had one of those moments in the beginning of college and it felt like a stinging slap in the face. For me, that awakening came in the form of a film. 

            Gaza Fights for Freedom, a documentary being shown on my college campus. I was asked to go and answer questions about the occupation of Palestine after the film was shown to a group of students and faculty. I know why they asked me, to me it was just another job I’d been asked to do as a member and a voice for the Palestinian community. A role the school decided I should fulfill based on nothing but the blood running through my veins and the olive color of my skin. I remember how hard it was to watch the film. I remember swallowing the burning vomit rising up the back of my throat as pictures of dead children, their crimson blood creating pools in the cracks of broken, gray cement, filled my vision. I listened to the piercing screams of the children of Gaza as they cried out to a world that never bothered to listen to them. They fought for their right to exist, their right to breathe, the right to be seen as a human being instead of an infectious disease that needed to be wiped out. I remember clenching my sweaty hands until my fists turned white, fighting the urge to cry as I watched these people die, people whose names would never be known, who the world would never mourn. 

            I remember Ali. Ali is a nineteen-year-old Palestinian, when I looked at his face, at his eyes, he looked startlingly like my cousins. He had a passion for basketball. He played every day with his friends on a broken court covered in dust and debris from bombings. He was an incredibly smart kid, studying history and dreaming of leaving Gaza to attend college and earn a degree. He wanted to provide and save his parents and his siblings so that they might have a better life. Ali decided to join his people at the front lines, peacefully protesting at the wall between Gaza and Israel. He was yelling for his freedom, waving a flag covered in forest green, royal red, clean white, and regal black The flag rippled proudly as the wind blew through it. Ali was standing to tell the world he was there, that he deserved to exist. Ali got shot in the leg with an illegal Israeli made bullet. The bullet erupted in his leg, sending shrapnel through his flesh and muscle, ripping it to shreds. His ears rang, blood was everywhere, pain coursed through his body until it slammed against the cold ground and his eyes closed. The next thing Ali knew, he was waking up in a makeshift hospital, now with only one leg and a small chance of surviving the next few months with no access to medical treatment. 

            Somehow, Ali survived and for that he was grateful. His amputated leg recovered without infection. During his interview in the film, Ali spoke about his body. The way that he is grateful that it recovered, as sad as he was about losing the ability to walk, to play basketball, his body was still his and his voice still worked. Ali continues to find ways to go to these peaceful protests, even after losing his leg in such a gruesome and cruel way, turning his life in a direction it shouldn’t have gone. Ali said his body was a tool, a means of movement. His tool may have been damaged but that is no reason to accept defeat, to accept misery or pity. I remember salty tears running over my lips as I saw him smile, a kid the same age as me who never took his body or health for granted. 

            I felt nothing but admiration for Ali. I never felt pity or sorrow. In a way, I was jealous. Jealous that he was wise enough to realize something that I never did. That the body is simply a tool. It’s a vessel for something so much more important, so much more valuable. It’s the casing that holds a bright soul. A soul with a purpose, a soul with a destiny and an impact. The vessel can be broken but the soul remains intact. There is no reason to have sadness or pity when you cross the street and see a child in a wheelchair or crutches. There is no reason to feel pity for someone who’s vessel is a little bit different than our own. Their soul is intact. Their soul is fighting. Their soul is valuable and unchanging. That day I promised myself I would smile. I would forever smile at those society frowns upon, at those that people deem unnatural or unwanted. I will smile, knowing their soul is colorful, bright, and smiling back at me. 

            I made another promise that day. I promised to appreciate my own body. The way it looks, the way it moves. I will appreciate every scar, every stretch mark, and every step I take. I am lucky enough to have this beautiful casing for my soul. It deserves much more than a trip to the gym every day or a juice cleanse. It deserves ice cream, naps, and to be appreciated for doing what it was always meant to do. To hold my soul. Isn’t that beautiful in itself? 

The Journey of Turtle

turtle1 Comment

I think the first important moment in this class that I want to discuss is Sins Invalid. The film was beautiful and it really stuck with me throughout the course. I wrote in my journal, “The art they created was beautiful, emotional, and I found myself incredibly inspired by their authenticity.” I am a very artistic and creative person, I spent a lot of my time on the stage growing up. I understood the stage as a place to express yourself and your experience, to show the world a piece of your soul and hope to get them to understand. I think this was the first moment I truly began to understand the experience of those with disability. It was the first time I was able to connect and relate to their experience. I understood their need for love, acceptance, to be seen in a different light. I felt like there was a crack in the foundation of my original understanding of disability after watching the film.

Another big moment throughout the course for me was understanding the disability community in terms of a marginalized group. This was another way I managed to relate and empathize with this community as a person belonging to another marginalized group. I wrote in my journal, “For marginalized groups, we crave the feeling of belonging because it is this notable experience that fills us with pure joy”. I remember the moment I was truly accepted as a Palestinian woman and how much joy and success I felt when it happened. I remember that longing slipping away and now I understand why the disability community yearns for it so strongly. I was able to understand their need to belong, to find a place that would accept them as people. I have spent a long time looking for the same thing, I understand their feeling of displacement and need for acceptance. I think a trend I’m starting to see in my personal journey is the need to connect personally and find understanding in that sense in order to truly widen my knowledge.

I think the last moment I want to discuss is masquerading. The entire need for the concept upsets me. I had learned about masquerading before in previous classes applied to different groups. Every single time we discuss it, it angers me. I hate that we live in a society that makes people feel like they can’t be authentically themselves. That they need to hide their disability, race, religion, background, or aspects of their personality in order to be treated in a respectful way by others. I wrote, “It is incredibly damaging to a person’s identity. At the same time, those that do choose to pass if they can are shamed by their community as hiding or being ashamed of themselves when they aren’t. This whole concept feels like a double ended sword.” I remember being infuriated for the rest of the day after this conversation in class and carrying that anger with me for the rest of the day. I made a promise to myself to make sure that every person I encountered or built a relationship with would feel comfortable being their authentic self around me without feeling at risk of disrespect or discrimination by me. I want everyone around me to feel safe to allow themselves to be nothing more than what they are because that is more than enough.

A Journey in Theory

DellFrog3 Comments

When I signed up for a class about “Disability Rhetoric” I was apprehensive. I was interested in learning more about disability, but I had never encountered rhetoric. I remember searching the definition of rhetoric every day for the first two weeks of class. Once I moved past my fear of rhetoric it was time to tackle the concept of disability. Our first assignment with “The Kids Are Alright” immediately challenged my perceptions of disability, forcing me to confront the overcoming and sympathy (read: pity) narratives that had been taught to me. One of the earliest quotes from my journal is in response to an article by Simi Linton. “But we have failed as a society by expecting abnormality and inability of people who are disabled.” While I still believe this is true in some respects, I don’t think I gave enough credit to the disability community. In today’s world, disability is far more visible than it was even as I was growing up, in large part due to the activism around making the world more accessible and sharing the narratives of people with disabilities. I think this also calls into question definitions of normal and ability, ones that I hadn’t considered at the time of writing that line.

Surrounding the conversation of Disability Visibility as a whole: “It is the way of understanding more about the world and how empathy is the answer when you have more knowledge about the vastness of diversity and the vastness of disability.” I had never encountered the narratives of people in Disability Visibility, and I had never encountered the drastic actions that we saw present in disability activism stories like in Crip Camp. The narratives we encountered were not all sunshine and roses. I don’t like reading sad stories, but there is a difference between a sad story and a provoking narrative that I encountered in this course. Stories like “Unspeakable Conversations” and The Kids Are Alright aren’t necessarily triumphant stories, but they aren’t sad stories either. They are stories that show multi-faceted people experiencing life. And it was refreshing to get a narrative that went beyond my expectations unapologetically. These authors weren’t writing to pander to the nondisabled community, they were writing for themselves.

I hadn’t really encountered a lot of theory outside of educational theory, and seeing disability theories and applying them to literature and media has helped me develop a greater sense of critical analysis. Being able to develop these skills and knowledge has been instrumental in shaping the path of my future. I have learned new perspectives from my peers and been revived in my hope for teaching. I think this quote from October summarizes my thoughts of the class pretty well. “It is where people begin to learn and break free of prior discourses and develop new concepts in conjunction with other like minded people.” I could not be more grateful for the knowledge, theory, and connections I have learned in this class. It also showed me that I can bust out writing much more confidently than I had expected. I am proud of where I have come and I look forward to how I can use this experience in my future.

Major Project Proposal

Isabelle SLeave a comment
  1. The community of memes
    1. To analyse how disabled people have established communities online, crip space online and how it functions, its benefits and limitations, how comedy and the relatability of memes are used to foster unity and even spread information.
  2. To what extent have memes within online spaces help foster disabled communities?
    1. I want to think about online crip space, online disability communities and the thought process behind comedy and memes, and how this is used to create rhetoric. I personally will be going through the process of making memes myself to better understand how they are made and I will also use examples of other memes made by the community. I will analyze their rhetoric and also the general community and the role that online space has in influencing how we think and talk about disability.
  3. Product design
    1. Digital design with collage of images interlaces with analysis (maybe consider making a video essay?)
    2. Use several sources, both primary and secondary. Scholarly and non-scholarly.
      1. Examples of actual online rhetoric by and from these spaces.
    3. For a text-imaged based project:
      1. Start with an introduction, general information, and use memes when supporting a certain topic.
      2. Analysis is more focused on the online space and communities and less the memes, maybe also dig into how comedy is used to foster community
      3. Or: 
        1. Start with the memes then explain their rhetoric, use further in-depth analysis of their meaning to transition into the more scholarly stuff
        2. Analysis is more focused on comedy and art, shared knowledge and community
      4. Try to connect memes and evolution to disability and “normalcy”
    4. For if I want to do a video essay
      1. The writing would be more casual, or at least hold more of my speaking voice and less my academic voice. 
      2. I would need to use a lot more images and footage.
      3. Start with an attention grabbing intro, then analysis of memes and finish with a “so-what?” or what they do for online spaces, and why this is important for disabled people.
      4. I have no idea how long it would actually be.
  4. Production plan
    1. Read parts of “Bending over Backwards” first 
    2. Then look into information about the actual communities, what is the general vibe of subreddits, tumblr posts, tweets, etc.
    3. Look for memes: I want to look at chronic pain, migraine and insomnia memes first.
    4. Then look into bigger communities, like the autistic community (look into #actually autistic on tumblr).
    5. Have the memes by second meeting, or at least some examples 
    6. Have a rough draft by the 29th.
    7. If I do a video essay, I need to find footage for the visuals, then record the commentary. I also don’t know how many words would make a minute, this depends on how fast I talk, how I edit the video, what pauses I make, etc.
  5. Consultation
    1. I’m okay with meeting at the week already planned to have the second and third meetings. The source “Bending Over Backwards” is going to be very helpful for me, and any other sources about online crip space and online disability community would also be really helpful. 
    2. I don’t know how to cite social media posts, if you could maybe get me a guide to how to do that, that would be really helpful.
  6. Citations
    1. “Bending over Backwards” by Lennard J. Davis
    2.  “Access Imagined: The Construction of Disability in Conference Policy Documents” by Margaret Price
    3. “Celebrating Crip Bodyminds” by Cobett Joan O’Toole (they/them)

Crip Camp: History From the Mouth of Its Forgotten Victors

Isabelle S1 Comment

Crip Camp was released in January of 2020, and features footage of campers in 1971, and the disability rights movement in 1973. I bring this up because of the major historical richness this film possesses. This film’s most prominent focus is on community. The hardships these people faced in their everyday lives was relieved during their visit to Camp Jened in 1971, and it is through the bonds formed there, and the accommodation and social environment of that space that the people there realized that they no longer wanted to be “in a world that wasn’t made for me”. They banded together in 1973 and protested for the passing of the 504 plan, which was being jeopardized at the time as people discussed if it was really necessary. 

So much of the value in this film lies in how personal story — and even footage — is used to cast a more in-depth light on the history of disability. All too often disability rights and disabled people are written out of history. But here we see their role up close. The footage from Camp Jened in 1971 is literally shot from the perspective of campers. We see the intimate lives of the campers, their physical needs, their discussions, their fun camp activities. Very quickly the audience could tell that people were happy and free at the camp. The narration also emphasises how different it was from the “outside world”, how disability was not an irregularity or something to be mocked, shunned or stared at, it was normal, expected, and there was an overwhelming amount of understanding in such a place. This contrasts with the fight they must undertake two years later, as they protest for the 504 plan. However, we still see that same sort of community unity during these protests. Everyone’s needs are considered, and people care for one another. There is compraderie in people planning what to say, making places to sleep, delivering food, fasting, heating and electricity, all sorts of specific conditions for living that everyone must be considered when making these decisions. It was a smaller protest, and a very personal one. This personalized account of such a historical event — especially an event that was avoiding publicity and has been for the most part less known outside of the disabled community — really makes the audience (particularly a nondisabled audience) quickly understand the importance of such protests.  

One quote that stood out a lot to me was, “The problem was not with disabled people, the problem was with nondisabled people.” My keyword reading was on ableism, although it was titled “ability”, it discusses how the term “ability” came to be what we now know it as today. It seemed to start as a measurement of what a person was able to do, and usually was legally used to benefit men who owned property. To not “be able” was to be disabled, and to have less value socially. This disabled term was applied to pretty much everyone other than property owning men. This would later evolve into being applied specifically to bodies that were given less value because they were not able to produce as much profit. I go more in-depth for how this is messed up in my keywords RAB, but I think in relation to Crip Camp a lot of similarities could be drawn. The general concept of a body being valued as “lesser”, of a person’s presence and their necessary accommodations that would be needed, is explored a lot in Crip Camp. There is a lot of contrast to how people’s lives were before the 504 plan was passed, and before, and the change between the historical footage and today are impossible to ignore.

There is a lot of value to this video being shown in class to high schoolers. Not only does it open students up to unique perspectives, some of which nondisabled students in your class may not have known about, but it also provides an important historical context to American history, one that is often overlooked or only briefly touched upon. This in-depth telling of history by the actual people who lived and experienced it is also extremely valuable, it is in a way timeless. I mean timeless in that it is extremely valuable to have a historical documentary that includes the actual people that lived through such events. Years from now, people will be able to hear the thoughts and insight of the actual protesters and campers. I think that’s really valuable.

Some notable quotes:

“The problem was not with disabled people, the problem was with nondisabled people.”

“I was in a world that wasn’t made for me.”

“I don’t think I felt shame for my disability. What I really felt was discussion.”

“Schools and even hospitals didn’t want to spend the money to make their buildings accessible.”