“You must create a female for me with whom I can live in the interchange of those sympathies necessary for my being” (chapter 17)
While in my Junior year of High School, I came face to face with true abandonment and rejection. I had built a life on the security of five different girls. Each of them existing in the world with such an intoxicating presence. I myself had spent years lost in an idea I had created of them. When my failures and shortcomings came too much for them, I quickly was written off as disposable. Just as a 100-year-old tree burns so quickly alone in a forest, did our friendship turn to ashes in the wind. I had ceased to be a friend and in the most malicious moods, I resembled a malignant monster in their eyes. I fled the grounds of my education seeking refuge behind the walls of my home. My mother and father finally searing the vacancy of life through their daughter’s eyes, did they terminate my time at my original High School. I spent a month before going to a new High School, completely alone. I remember a reflection I utterly despised and self-flagellation in my speech. I fed myself loneliness day and day, letting in calcify in the pit of my stomach. Though my period of isolation left me aching and bitter, my lashing out was nothing compared to the horrendous acts the “monster” committed. Although I do feel empathy for the monster and understand much of his sorrows. Just as the monster wished to be understood and in some cases resented his existence and his creator.