III. Proof of Life

I’m alive and well! If you feel like listening instead of reading, you know the drill.

Oh my goodness, please excuse the delay. It’s been what, nearly 3 months? I really don’t have an excuse except for that life is just busy. Besides that, I’m sure many of you reading this know that regular communication is not one of my strong suits. The long story short is that I am doing well; there are ups and downs, but such is life, and I’m experiencing and learning so much. It is beautiful, hard, scary, and joyful!

At this point, the thought of synthesizing all that’s been happening feels very overwhelming, but I’ll give it a go. For now, we’ll keep it relatively concise (key word: relatively, because well, I’m a long-winded person).

The last time I checked in it was October, and in November, I moved east to the state of Veracruz, on the Gulf of Mexico. It was a big transition, and on the third and final bus there, I had a moment of regret- asking myself why I would go to a new place where I didn’t know anyone just as I had finally gotten comfortable where I was. At the time, I didn’t have an answer.

I arrived exhausted and nervous, and a taxi took me just outside of town to the agroecological cooperative where I spent the next month or so. There I lived with six other “apprentices”, and we spent our time learning from and working with the people who form the cooperative, most of whom are from a small pueblo nearby, and a handful of other people from the surrounding area. 

I was going to sugarcoat things a bit and try to paint you the picture of the idyllic farm life, but the honest-to-God truth is that my time there was a little rough, especially at first. My first day I hardly spoke a word to anyone because I was afraid of making a fool out of myself with my less-than-good Spanish. The third day I started planning my escape. The fourth day was awesome, and I decided to stay and committed to taking things day by day and giving myself the gift of a fresh start each morning.

It was an incredible experience and I came out different on the other side, though still quite tired, and with an answer to my question of, “Why the heck would I do something like this?!” I left inspired by what I had seen and learned, a little more fluid in my Spanish speaking, more confident in my path forward, very grateful for the people I had met and their kindness and generosity, and with some basic machete skills. That’s why I did it.

The end of November also meant the end of my time at the cooperative, which was very bittersweet. I was ready for a hot shower that didn’t require lighting a fire an hour ahead of time, but I wasn’t ready to leave the beautiful abundance and lovely people I was so lucky to know there. After traveling around Veracruz a bit, I made a stop in Mexico City on my way back to the state of Guanajuato to spend the holidays with friends that I had met at the beginning of my journey.

December was a time for recuperating and cooking and enjoying good company. I tried my hand at baking bread with varied results and I made my grandma’s spaetzle and beef bourguignon for Noche Buena, or Christmas Eve. In Mexico, it is much more typical to gather and celebrate on Christmas Eve as opposed to Christmas Day, and it’s common to pass the entire night celebrating with family. I’m ashamed to say I only made it until 2am before falling fast asleep with a belly full of tamales and ponche (a punch typically made with fruit, hibiscus flower, and piloncillo and served hot).

I was lucky enough to spend the New Year with my aunt at the beach before making the long trip to Oaxaca, where I am now.

I’ve been living with a host family while taking Spanish classes, cooking classes, and salsa dancing classes, as well as working on a printmaking project. I love it here, and I’m learning a lot! It feels good to have some structure again, because it seems I still don’t know what I’m doing.