Hello Reader!

For the past couple of years I realized I’ve been giving majority of my time to others, trying to “save people.” Don’t get me wrong I love helping those in need and especially those I care for. For the past couple of years been getting caught in a cycle of telling myself “I can just help one more person.” Constantly giving others the energy they need to take a step in the direction they’re going in. It feels good to help others, it feels great to know another individual relies on you. Until eventually you don’t have enough energy to save yourself.

Last night I was talking to a friend of mine, catching up about life. Chelsea, her soul is so beautiful and her mind is so intricate,  and she helped me recall this old quote I found 6 years ago. I found it on Tumblr (good ‘ole Tumblr) and I remember I would write it on everything back in high school. It’s even written on my whiteboard back at home..

As soon as I recalled it, I realized how much I had neglected this quote..and I also realized the past 3 years in college I have always been trying to “save” someone.. My friends…My roommates..My ex..My classmates..My family..Random strangers..

Always making sure they ate OR did their homework OR they were surviving financially OR life was doing okay for them. Yet when life wasn’t doing okay for them, I would literally go a marathon out of my way to make sure their life was better.
Don’t get me wrong, it felt AMAZING to know that another human being was surviving because I had a partial role in their life. However, why was it that I was the one that felt helpless in the end?

Now I’m NOT saying this: never help others or only think of yourself from now on.
What I am saying is: make sure you’re okay (mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc.) before you can help another person be okay.
There is always going to be a constant tradeoff between helping others and helping yourself, just don’t neglect to give yourself the help you need.

Tying this into my present life: I’ve been feeling a variety of emotions for the past few weeks. One day I would feel like I can take on the world, while the next day I feel lost and hurt. Regardless of what I feel, I still go out of my way to help others because I’ve been getting into the habit of thinking “I have to make sure everyone is okay.” But the end of the day when you go to sleep the last person you face is yourself and can you look at yourself and ask “Are you okay?” 
This might be easier said than done, but I decided I’m going to save myself for a change. I’m going to take the time I need to make sure I can answer that question and say I’m okay before I can ask others if they’re okay. And if you asked yourself that question and didn’t like the answer you gave yourself, I want you to also do the same…it’s okay if the only person you save is you.

With much love,

Katelyn Ann