“Empathy responds with, “I’m just so glad you told me.”
Brené Brown on Empathy
Hey guys! I Just wanted to start this traction journal #3 off with a really helpful video by researcher Dr. Brené Brown on empathy versus sympathy. I remember being shown this during a leadership seminar a couple years ago and being wowed by it’s powerful distinction between the two characteristics. I would love to start a conversation on this, please let me know what you think of the short clip.
How do I plan on being curious about developing empathy with our customer?
During the short clip above Brown states that empathy fuels connection. And going into VP2 my team and I set the intention that we intend to create a connection with our customer. So, how do we achieve this connection? We develop empathy. How do we develop empathy? Well first, we need to define what empathy is and what empathy is not. This is where Brene Browns 4 points on empathy come into play. I will list them here:
- Empathy is perspective taking.
- Empathy is staying our of judgment.
- Empathy is recognizing emotion.
- And, empathy is communicating the recognition of those emotions.
Empathy is not sympathy. Sympathy responds with something like, “Whew, that’s bad. You want a sandwich?”
I plan on developing empathy with my customer by listening to listen. Staying open. Looking for ques to what emotions are being brought forward. And communicating back what they have said rather than an “at least” statement or a “silver-lining it” as Brené Brown references.
Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’
Brené Brown
How do I plan on responding to the needs of my customer?
*I don’t plan on responding to my customer with, “Give me the f*cking ball!” LOL. The incorporation of this interview will make so much sense in relation to this post soon :)*
“Soccer didn’t make me who I am. I brought who I am to soccer, and I get to bring who I am wherever I go. So do you.“
Abby Wambach
How can we bring who we are as students, as entrepreneurs, as unique personalities, as change makers, as innovators to the needs of our customers? How do we show up in the strongest, most empathetic, and solution driven humans to our customers? Here are some of my ideas/intentions that I plan to implement as I evolve and grow as an entreprenur and human:
1.Extensive research
2.Full business analaysis
3. Creative confidence to their needs
4. Know what I can bring to them and what my teammates are also able to bring
5. Listening and then listening more
6. Consistent communication of pains/gains
How might I apply this week’s learnings to my venture?
This weeks learning’s come from the development of working with a new team and how our individual biggest hopes and most terrifying fears play into this. We practiced this activity during class and because of this we decided as a VP2 team to complete this activity together as well. We all generally wanted to provide a great offering and solutions to our future clients pains but what was most interesting to me was our fears list. In regards to our fears and our VP2 project each of our lists included not showing up for each other. Missing out on connection, not building connection, and inconsistency, etc … these were based in every single fear we each listed.
How then do we build connection? How do we guarantee consistency? What inspires individuals to show up for each other? I have some idea’s here:
- Safety
- Love
- Respect
- Excitement
- Fun
- Purpose
- Shared values
Incorporating these and learning HOW TO practice building connection is so IMPORTANT. For both ourselves, our community, our team, and our customers.
Other (relevant) Things:
- Went into the gym this past Saturday and it was basically empty!! I love when the gym is empty because it creates a space for me to learn and feel safe to try new lifts and movements. This made me think of the value once again of creating a safe space. Safe spaces where one feels comfortable to fail and then try again, that’s where we see progress. This is also where I see progress. Not progress in perfection but progress in the boldness to try and experiment. And this idea can be directly related to the environment I aim to create along with my clients for VP2.
ALSO, I train with @kiaratheleader and @hulksm4sh using their online programming if you’re interested!
2. I love listening to Podcasts and recently YouTube interviews on Marie Forleo TV. When I listen/watch my favorite tool is drawing webs as I follow along. There is not specific order to this webs but I usually place the theme in the middle and then web out with quotes, phrases, facts, key words, etc. from there.
Does anyone else have their own unique note taking method??
3. I dare you to journal about the below post- it question I gained from author, Glennon Doyle. And then watch her interview with Marie Forelo. I loved imagining what the most beautiful story of my life would look like. So. Powerful.
In relation to VP2 you could rephrase the prompt to be:
What is the truest, most beautiful story , you and your client, about your work together, you can imagine?
Please feel free and welcome to continue these conversations with me over Microsoft Teams!! My life is so much brighter with meaningful conversations and connections with you beautiful souls.
Kristina
Kristina,
Again wow these blog post are a real treat to read every week, there’s so much extra useful and resourceful sources that you provided to us that really get the point across! These blog post are extremely engaging and I really love this specific idea of Empathy we are discussing this week! That short video that distinguishes empathy and sympathy really gave a clear and direct definition to what empathy truly is, this really impacted me because initially coming into this program and business in general I had a strict mindset that I wanted to only make money. Maybe it was because I felt like growing up we had that necessity of money and the only way out was to make money but coming to WWU and more specifically the ENTR program I was able to develop a new and extremely improved mindset on what business and entrepreneurship is, I now truly believe that community and empathizing with the true needs of people will be the ultimate guide to success —not money wise but genuine enrichment of the heart. I have also developed a closer sentiment with my religion that has also helped me see that success truly isn’t measured by wealth but rather the purity and genuine help we seek to give and empathy has a great way of helping us put our self’s in others shoes and feel what they do, by doing this I’m sure that my venture and all ventures will have a huge increase in success because not only will you be solving physical problems people have but you’ll be able to feel the emotional and mental challenges they face, realizing those then you can target the source and produce products/services that are more focused and desired than the competition. I truly believe that connecting with people will help us see things differently and in ways that others never thought possible! Thank you 🙏🏽
Saul M.
Kristina,
As I have said before I really enjoy your inclusion of multiple media formats on these posts, they are quite engaging as a reader and I am always left with good questions for reflection and takeaways going forward. I enjoyed the video on empathy, I think the part of it that struck most true for me was that “a response rarely makes it better”. Too often I find myself in the position of responding and this is actively pulling me away from the present moment I am being asked to attend to. For me this is a muscle to work in all facets of life and the have it pop up in this community is a strong reaffirmation of the omnipresent nature of empathy, and how we must continually make the choice of empathy.
I love seeing how much you care about your teams. Especially when traction may be slow, developing a system of loving accountability and camaraderie is KEY to a successful team cycle. Your commitment to the fostering of that space is both commendable, and inspiring.
What a cool note taking style! I find webs to be really helpful for me, as a way to track the progression and flow of thoughts. A style I have had a lot of fun with, especially so when working in a space that has room to be abstract (affirmations, personal reflections, intention setting) I love to make pictures and symbols. I have found that creating and incorporating symbols can over time condense super expansive and deep thoughts into simplistic, yet very honest and intimate illustrations. Personally, I got started with the practice because I love puzzles, codes, and linguistics has always intrigued me, so I started trying to find ways to journal/communicate my thoughts and feelings with little to no English, even if just to myself. Over time, this has become less primary in my journaling, and more of a tool to use when words aren’t quite emotive enough to get an authentic thought down. But, symbolism is still huge in my journal and it adds a really fun and exciting element to the personal journey I feel I am documenting, like a kind of mad scientist’s field journal through the exhilarating experiment of a human life.
Hey Kristina! I always enjoy reading your journals because they are so engaging and very well written. I definitely need to take some inspiration from yours and bring it to mine to make it more a bit more engaging and more fun to read. I also really like what you talked about on building empathy with your customer. You put an emphasis on listening to them and that is something that I thought about and mentioned as well. Being able to really listen to our customers in this assignment is going to help us have a mutually beneficial relationship and accomplish what they really want from us. Effective communication involves both listening and speaking our thoughts and that is something that we definitely need to do to be successful on this VP2. I hope your project is going well and I’m glad I got the chance to read your journal again this week!