Alison Mason
I returned to the cold and bitter Whitworth campus after a relaxing winter break at home. By the second day of being at school I knew something needed to change. I had spent my first semester desperate to find people that shared similar views and values as me, as it was a religious school that I did not identify with. I felt like I had to be someone I was not to fit in and I hid my true beliefs as they tended to be more liberal and forward thinking than my peers. After spending break at home and having heard the stories of my friends having an amazing time at their schools, I decided to seek extra help to figure out how to make the most of my time at college and talk through the idea of transferring. On that cold and dreary second day, I visited a mental health counselor on campus. I stepped into the small room comprised of a couch, a chair, and a computer with a desk. The room was hot compared to the snowy outside and I quickly took off my three extra jackets. Hannah, the counselor, was waiting for me and we began our meeting by getting to know each other. I explained to Hannah that I felt unhappy and extremely anxious here at school; I felt like I was missing out on the “college experience” by living such a sheltered life at this presbyterian school.
While I talked, Hannah would take notes on what I was saying to help understand me a little better. It was almost as if she was creating a mental map of my words. By the end of our first session we created a couple of goals for the upcoming quarter, including looking into transferring schools. Another short term plan we set in place was for me to start a gratitude journal. My gratitude journal would be a way for me to boost my mood and find the positive in what I had deemed a miserable upcoming semester. The plan was for me to take a few minutes each day to write down good things that happen in the day, no matter how big or small. It could be getting a good grade or having a good conversation with someone, anything that made me grateful for the day. I was a little hesitant starting off as I don’t necessarily enjoy journaling or writing for fun, but I was desperate for anything to help my anxiety and mood. The first night, I laid in bed and started looking back on my day. I was grateful for my meeting with Hannah as it filled me with new hope for the upcoming semester. I was grateful for the phone call I had with my mom. I was even grateful for the yummy dinner I had in the dining hall with my friends. Writing down the good points of my day made me realize that my day wasn’t quite as “doom and gloom” as I had made it out to be in my head. It also made me realize that writing could be useful for my mental health and not just for my academic life. Hannah had used note taking to understand me better and I just journaled to understand the positives in my life better. Just the simple act of jotting down a few things made me appreciate writing more and made me appreciate life more. Hannah was the biggest encourager of my development, but without my anxiety I wouldn’t have been in the place where I needed to use journaling as an outlet, therefore improving my appreciation and use of writing. The development of my free writing literacy made me more reflective, more thoughtful, and much more happy.
Work Cited
Brandt, Deborah. “Sponsors of Literacy.” College Composition and Communication, Vol. 49,
No. 2. (May, 1998), pp. 165-185.