The only thing I have in this world is my cat. I promised that I would take him to see the big one so he could say ‘good day‘ to the big one.“

Content Statement: This article contains themes of suicide

Sidenote: I wish I would have been able to take his portrait, but given he was Muslim,  it would not be possible. Many Muslims hold a belief that images, particularly photographs, can capture and potentially take a part of their soul. This belief stems from interpretations of Islamic teachings regarding the sanctity and integrity of the human soul. According to some interpretations, capturing an image through photography or other means can interfere with the soul's purity or invite spiritual harm. As a result, some individuals may avoid being photographed or may express discomfort with images being taken of them. That being said, even if his face does wear away without resemblance,I will never forget this conversation, and the trust he felt with me. 

While working at the Gast House, I encountered a fellow guest who was elated to share his story with me. To my surprise, he originated from Canada and had been stranded here for the past 3 to 5 years due to a lost passport, rendering him unable to prove his identity. Over the course of nearly two hours, we delved into his life journey, spanning from childhood through divorce, detailing his transition from a six-figure-earning doctor to living on the streets, and his current plans to stabilize his future.

At the onset of our interview, there was a bit of a struggle to find our footing. He informed me he would join me outside after finishing his meal. When he attempted to fetch a couple of chairs from the main dining room for our interview, he encountered resistance from the staff, who rebuked him despite his explanation that he was assisting me with a project. He recounted, “‘They screamed at me, ‘Bring the chair in now’. I said, ‘**** told me to bring it here. We’re doing something.’ I said bring it in the stool.” Eventually, we managed to locate a quiet spot, albeit it was raining. Due to the lack of coverage and space, we found ourselves taking shelter beside a garbage can. I felt deeply sympathetic towards him as he shared his story, realizing we were left with no better options.

“Does smoking bother you?” he inquired.

I responded, “No, it’s quite common in Europe.”

“Okay then, shall we begin? You better hold on tight to the chair,” he remarked, taking a deep breath.

Early Life
He began by recounting his familial background, stating, “My grandfather was a judge. My father was a lawyer. My mother was a nurse.I went all three routes. I studied nursing, first degree. My second degree, I took History and Modern Language. And my third is I’m a teacher for English, French and Spanish,” he explains, followed by a light-hearted remark, “Hi…Twelve years I sat at the university,” he jokes.”My mother is English, my father is French, So they gave [me] two languages,” he adds. “My dad took a job in Venezuela when I was in the 6th class, and I went to school in Venezuela from the 6th till the 11th class,” he elaborates, “Spanish was my third language.I was given six weeks’ instruction before I started school. And with my father, it doesn’t matter about the language. You come home with straight A’s or else.”

During our conversation, we briefly discussed the experience of having older parents. He shared an intriguing observation, stating, “They say either when the parents are well, the mother is too old, you get children with Down syndrome or extremely bright children with very high foreheads“, recounting he had one as well. “I can recite passages from literature that I read in the 9th class. Spanish, French, English. What language would you like it in?“He mentioned how people often mistake him for a native speaker in any language he speaks due to his ability to match the dialect and accent purely through listening. “The funny part was here, during the Coronavirus, we were across the street in a tent in this park, and I had five people lined up. I spoke to one in English, one in French, one in Spanish, one in Portuguese, one in Arabic, and then I spoke German at the end…Masri, shami, and  oncinha. Those are the three Arabic languages that I’m learning now. I’m leaving here to go to Egypt. I promised my cat that I would take him to see the big one so he could say good day to the big one.“

He also recounted his adventures, including getting banned from Las Vegas. “There are little casinos on every corner here. And I went in and played. I doubled my paycheck at least every month, doubled my bing bing bing bing. I just kept winning.”

Early Career

At the beginning of the interview, he explained the reasonings for his long educational journey. “I became a nurse. It was actually supposed to be in my premed studies. In my anatomy and physiology professor’s lecture I corrected in the university with 250 doctors and nursing students. It was dead silent. You could hear a needle drop. Then when I finished my degree, I thought, I really don’t want to be a doctor. I’d rather work as a nurse. And then there were so many opportunities available. Then I really didn’t need to finish my degree to become a doctor. I could work as a nurse and make very good money. And I did..Then I applied for a job and I was told, ‘you can’t have it because you’re a male. They want a female.‘ So I [flew] back to Venezuela in ‘86 or ‘87…I went and decided I’m not going back to Canada, and I traveled all over South America. Then I landed in Malaysia, Hong Kong, and then I met my ex wife, and she was East German, and we got married. We were supposed to go back to Canada, [but] a marriage involves two people, not three. So I just said, no, you can stay here. We were divorced“.

I clarified it was because she wanted to involve another person, to his reply “No, she already did. I found out from my divorce attorney that I was husband number eight. Oh, yeah. Not nice. I thought I was husband number three. That was bad enough. But when he said, ‚no, you’re husband number eight‘. I looked at him and I said, Are you serious? He said yes. He said she’s a swindle.“ I asked if they were all But they’re all legal marriages. „Oh, yeah. She was married several times in the former East Germany. so we wound up divorced. We landed in Hala Andersala. I worked in Bautzen. I taught English teachers for the German school system. So then once we were divorced, I left because the market fell apart.“

Marriage Life 

„We came to Germany. We had a second honeymoon and we went to Poland.  I was on the boat trip from Amsterdam to a cheese farm. I had four job opportunities from people that were on the boat. Language companies send people on the weekends, see who’s here, who we can use. They just came. “What do you do?I’m a language teacher. I want you to work for me‘. Four jobs in 15 minutes. No paperwork[needed], nothing. My wife wouldn’t go. She needed a job, an occupation. She didn’t have one.She never bothered to learn anything…she had no education. I told her in Portuguese, you have exactly two years. The 26 October, I’m filing for a divorce.“

“And then she didn’t do anything?“

“Well, yeah, she did do something. She found husband number nine and was having an affair with him while I was running all over the countryside teaching. And the neighbors tried to tell me, but I couldn’t speak German at the time. She didn’t want to learn[a skill], because she was taking the money from our joint account. And she wasn’t paying anything.“ As soon as they got divorced and he wasnt providing for her, she got a job in a nursing home the next day. I‘m not a widow, sadly.

Life After Divorce

After his job teaching languages went downhill because of the crash, he returned to nursing. “That worked out until I was the head of ICU. That was my area of expertise, and emergency,” he recalls. “I went in, it was Friday, the 13th of July 2012. I went into work and I went, ‘no, I don’t think I’m working today, but I had to go in‘“. At the end of his last day before he was shifted over, “I just went down on the ground. They called me from the ward and asked, ‘What are you doing laying on the floor?'”

“Get a doctor, I’m having a heart attack“. 

“What?“ the nurses said, stunned.

 “Yes. And that’s why I’m on the floor or on the ground. Get a doctor“.

“Ten minutes later I was on the operating table and they did a three way[ triple bypass]. I still have leg problems all the way down. And then they said, ‘we have bad news for you. You can’t work as a nurse anymore because no hospitals will take you because of heart issues. The risk from patient to nurse transmission of sickness is too high so you need to change jobs‘. I worked in what they call ginecologic legacy. I was a nurse on wheels. I went from house to house and dealt with patients. I didn’t have to lift the patients, did meds and injections. The doctor said, ‘okay, I’ll sign it. But he said you can’t do this for long. You will get caught, you will be fined.‘ But he said ‘I’ll write it‘ And I decided to re-educate myself to be a physiotherapist. That’s how I wound up here in Dortmund. While I was on the bus, my money, passport, everything was stolen. €5,000 was gone. And no, you can’t have a job because you don’t have a passport. But I did have a letter that said I have landed immigrant status. I can do anything I want except vote and bold public office. So I used it and I applied for my unemployment insurance. I should have gotten eight months. But they found out that the passport was gone. So they technically owe me for half a year that they will never pay“.

Family Relationships

“The only thing I have in this world is my cat. My entire family is dead. Brothers,sisters, aunts, uncles, parents, down to my great nephew committed suicide two years ago. There was a family problem. His mother is a half sister, or his grandmother was my half sister. The family didn’t work well. That was one of the reasons why I left. And I said, ‘I’m out of here‘.And I went back to South America. Then when I came back to Canada, everything was fine.

“I knew him as a little boy,” he recounts, describing his nephew. He continues, detailing how he believed it was good he passed, how he had saved him as a baby, but also expressing his sense of unfairness, feeling that his passing took away his life, his only living relative. He further adds, “And his mother also committed suicide. When my mother passed away, they closed the casket.” He shares that she had experienced abuse in the family from a young age, which he believes could explain the psychological problems within the family.

Process of Reattaining his Documents

“Okay, you don’t have to answer, but answer yourself. What was your mother’s occupation when you were born? Do you know this? Where did she live? Do you know the address?Who was the doctor that brought you into the world? How much did you weigh when you were born? And now find a Canadian doctor that knows you for three years and can write down, yes, this is who it is. I haven’t been in Canada for over 35 years. Nobody is in existence. My family doctor that I had died a year ago, January the third, and his son took over his practice. He retired when I was 18“. I asked if another doctor could access his records. ‘No‘ they said, ‘the doctor has to sign that they know you personally‘. And there was no doctor that knew me because I’ve been out of the country for 35 years.“

Thankfully he was able to reconnect with his girlfriend on facebook after many years. “I said, ‘Hi, how are you?‘ I used my new name.“

“Who are you and what do you want?“ she replied.

 “I said,‘ Anything I want from you, you would give me.‘“

“This conversation over. You can go“. 

 “Sweetie, it’s me.“ I said. 

“What?“

“Yeah, I took my ex wife’s name when we got married“.

when are you coming home?‘ she said 

“I was 13 and spent the night at her house in bed with her, and her mother was okay with it. We’re more like brother and sister than girlfriend and boyfriend. The families are mixed like this, so it wasn’t a problem. Nothing went on anyway. I [had] hurt my foot rolling tires. We had to change the tires and put them in a different place in the ghost garage. And I just said ‘no, I’m not doing this. We can just roll the tires like this and let them roll in’.Well, it rolled into and it crunched my toenails along. I had to go to the doctor“. It was only after this one instance from years prior, he was able to receive his documents. 

Reattaining His Documents 

“If you can get legal guardianship, you can do anything. You can get the information in Canada. Hopefully you can get my passport quicker. She contacted the government in Canada. They said he’s already applied. He has to wait. ‘There’s nothing we can do’ they said. ‘He has to wait‘. She called upstairs and said ‘he’s telling you the truth‘. And then it was completely treated differently.“ 

So the previous doctor that had fixed his toe signed for the paper. “ I had all of the new paperwork, and then it was gone again. Everything was stolen from the hygiene center. I had my passport. I was ready to go. It was stolen again. It took five years to get it.And then I had it six months and its gone again. I’m sitting like this. I’m not allowed to work because I don’t have papers. I’m not allowed to rent an apartment. I’m not allowed to do anything.“ I asked him how he’s getting by now as he;s waiting forhis documents. “putting money in another account. My hands are tied. I don’t have a choice. I need to live. I’m in a cellar, in a tent because they wouldn’t allow me to register in my apartment. So I had to leave. I actually had a life until one day I just went splat on the street. You can see from my family background, there was no problem with money. There was money for everything and anything. Yeah, try going from everything to nothing“. By now he has received his new documents, passport and and is on his way out of Germany. 

“I’m here until the papers come. Then I want to go to Holland(for thelanguage teaching job) and then from Holland to Egypt. Africa is my last continent, I lived on every continent up to and I wanted to teach in Morocco.“