AnnaInSpain

T-minus 4 days until I depart for Spain. I have always been a planner, plain and simple. Studying abroad is no different and has required patience and most importantly research and preparation. For anyone who is planning to study abroad I cannot emphasize enough not to leave things for the last minute, specifically packing. This I found out when I packed the last three days before leaving for Miami to spend a few days relaxing before I leave for Spain. I’m currently write this blog at 8:05 pm sitting on a hotel balcony in Miami Beach with a beautiful view overlooking the Atlantic Ocean and the bright lights of the hotels around me. I’ve had a few epiphanies over the past few days.

Last night on Tuesday September 20th, it hit me that I was actually leaving for three months. Of course, I’ve had months to prepare for goodbye’s and packing but until you are hugging your family and friend’s goodbye and getting emotional in the moment that’s when you know your journey has officially started. It honestly took me a little off guard the feelings I experienced. Three months may not seem like a long time but when you take into consideration flying across an ocean thousands of miles away from your loved ones, starting a new life, making new friends, and learning a different language you realize its life changing. For all the nerves and thoughts I’ve had about study abroad, turning back has never once crossed my mind because the excitement and knowledge of the adventure I will have far outweighs any fears.

The second epiphany I had was regarding language learning and the expectations I hold for myself. I was first introduced to Spanish in seventh grade and had half a year of Spanish and French. From seventh grade and on I took Spanish each year until the end of high school. I think like most students I just tried to pass the class with a good grade, and I never truly believed I would speak another language besides English. Much less at a level where I could communicate with a native Spanish speaker. My summer month exchange to Costa Rica in 2018 shocked me and helped me realize that I have the capability to communicate with millions of more people using an entirely different language outside of English. My journey to learning Spanish has not only helped me grow as an individual but given me so much respect for language learners in general. As a language learner I constantly am worrying about my grammar, vocabulary, or accent. Language learning has gifted me a unique perspective on the difficulties those learning a language face.

The most common fear that comes up for me when speaking Spanish is making mistakes and my accent. At the same time if I would never judge another person for making mistakes why am I so difficult on myself? Until recently if I didn’t know how to write or say a sentence perfectly, I would translate it. If I would go out for dinner and I knew the staff spoke Spanish, I would stick to English instead of trying to practice. But I realized one evening that becoming fluent or proficient in a language means you can use it anytime and anywhere. I shouldn’t need to prepare for a week before deciding that I feel ready to say something in Spanish. A master of a language can switch between two or more languages in the moment. Ultimately my language goal is to reach a point of comfortability where I don’t doubt my Spanish skills.