The Unspoken Conversations: Homesickness, Burnout, and Making Friends

2 Months in Granada, Spain

In order to mark my two months in Spain I wanted to talk about some of the harsher realities of studying abroad that I have personally encountered and noticed. Studying abroad is often portrayed as a paradise and only the best aspects are shown and talked about. I know for a fact and strongly feel it one of the best choices I have ever made and for the most part gone exactly the way I imagined it. I participate in the night life, travel on the weekends to different countries, and it has been the best two months of my life. The connections, memories, and life experience I have gained are invaluable.

However, what people tend to neglect to talk about or show on social media is the homesickness at certain times that eventually does come from being away from family, friends, and animals back in your country. I consider myself an individual who is very independent and I can handle most situations quite well including being away from my loved ones for long periods of time. I had a year being away at college which gave me time to practice being away from my parents for long periods of time. However, being in a different country can add another layer of distance and loneliness that we don’t always anticipate once the excitement of a new country wears off. This is normal though and I wouldn’t change being abroad for anything in the world. I find that being around people or getting outside often helps and brightens up my mood. I did an exchange to Costa Rica in 2018 for a month in the summer and the first day I was feeling very homesick, but I reminded myself that a month would fly by fast, and I would be wishing I could stay and true enough that’s how it went. It’s a similar feeling now in Spain two months later. Thank goodness for facetime and calls. Studying abroad is the time to enjoy life and make the most of my time in a different country

Another aspect of studying abroad that I didn’t anticipate was burnout and the feeling of needing to go, go, go. The first month in Spain up until the second week of the second month was spent traveling every weekend. Whether it be to a different country, solo trips on my own to different cities or with friends, or excursions with my program. I quickly felt very burnt out from traveling each weekend with generally only one day of rest before starting the week again. I often think many students studying abroad especially Americans feel this internalized need to constantly be productive and make the most of our time abroad. Which yes, I want to make the most of my time but also taking care of myself physically and my mental health is important. Traveling takes a toll on the body and mentally even if we don’t realize it, especially consecutive weeks of travel. In a way I am happy that I did travel a lot my first month because now I plan to stay in Granada and get to know the city. It’s easy to get caught up in visiting other countries because being in Europe means it’s so easy to hop on a flight or bus and be in another country in a matter of hours. But the city that I’m studying in has so much to offer and I want to feel like I got to know the city by the time I leave and not look back and ask myself why I didn’t spend more time there. Traveling will always be available, but realistically will I probably be studying in a different country for a long period of time in the future, probably not.

A very common fear students have and I myself had when studying abroad was that I wouldn’t make friends. This fear was dispelled easily when I arrived. I made friends with people in my program and living in the residencia made it even easier to bond with people and form connections. Even if I didn’t live in a residencia but in a host family or in an apartment I would meet people at school and have the opportunity to get to know my classmates. For individuals who are introverts or slightly timid like me often it can be hard to go outside of your comfort zone. But make that first move and ask someone to go grab a coffee or go get tapas because the friendships you could gain will change your life. This is how I met one of my good friends from Sweden in Spain. In my personal opinion I recommend not studying abroad with a friend from home because I think it often prevents us from meeting new people and going outside of our comfort zone sometimes. As a person with social anxiety, I often like to go to social events or try new things without a companion. One dream I had was I always wanted to have dinner by myself in another country and feel like the main character in a movie or show, which I have fulfilled. One night I had dinner in a Spanish plaza by myself surrounded by other people with a beautiful view of a fountain, eating my carbonara and drinking my tinto de verano. This was a core memory.

Overall, a few pieces of advice would be to…

  1. Remind yourself it’s not a competition to see how many countries you can travel to when abroad or how many cities.
  2. It’s okay to take a day to rest and do nothing, you don’t need to be productive 24/7
  3. If you have a few days of travel leave yourself a day of rest back in your city before the week starts. Trust me you will be thankful for it.
  4. Do a solo trip even if it’s just a day trip. You never know what you can do yourself and the unique experiences you might have.
  5. Go outside of your comfort zone and be the main character, eat dinner by yourself in a plaza, sing karaoke in an Irish Pub, do those activities that you didn’t have the confidence to do back home (Keeping safety in mind and being reasonable)
  6. Your time abroad is a unique experience, and you can’t do it wrong. Go at your own pace.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *