The subjects in the images used to create this were crafted over 6 years apart but relate to each other in similar themes of self-consciousness, confusion, and an overactive mind with a need for tangibility to process anything. I cannot say I am particularly proud of any part of this image, they make me squirm so nasty-like from the amount of corn in them. I also cannot say I remember anything about any period of time except the present really, I can’t recognize and sympathize with my past self because I truly do not remember a second of what any of it was like. I know some of the main transpired events, I even have an extensive collection of close-friend story posts on Instagram to document almost everything happening in my life so I know the emotions and opinions I held about them. I guess what I’m getting at is that I don’t fucking recognize anything that’s happened or that I have known/currently know. As time goes on I just add or take off layers of time and at some point, it’s just a fucked up jumbled-up mess and I don’t care because it’s hard to say I’ll remember caring in a year? Month? Week? Nah fuck that probably like a month or whatever. Some silly willfully ignorant person could say that this is all nihilistic and what the shit, but I AM NOT A NIHILIST. FUCK. Fuck that I love life and I love experiencing and the only thing that can make something have value is a mind to perceive a value and meaning so fuck that. People call themselves a nihilist then google a Nietzche quote for their Instagram note or a forearm underside tat but ignore that Nietzche was about building meaning and value in your life to fight nihilism. Pretty cool for the bleak weirdo eugenicist creep he was. I borrow from what I remember about my past as a bleak reminder of what not to perpetuate in my future. Something like that I don’t know. I will say though that other displays of whatever was going on in my mind back then were a whole lot more poetic and authentic than anything I’ve ever tried to put a poetic meaning into. As awful as it all is/was.
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