“That Other Prayer”

Sometimes I kneel when twilight falls, 
And try to ask the Lord 
To lean one moment from above 
And hear my trembling word; 
But scarcely have I knelt, when quick 
Springs that old aching care, 
And with a tremble on my lips, 
I pray that other prayer. 
With that old choke within my throat, 
Those old hot, useless tears, 
With which I used to kneel and say 
That prayer in other years; 
With the same beating of my heart, 
Bowed by the same fierce care, 
And the old tremble on my lips, 
I pray that other prayer. 
 
It was not answerednay; and I 
Now would not have it so, 
And that is why God heard it not, 
And it was best, yet, oh! 
So often in that sky-lit room 
With walls so cold and bare, 
With that poor tremble on my lips, 
I prayed that other prayer! 
And so, tho’ it was answered not, 
And old desire is dead, 
I cannot kneel these happier nights 
Beside this other bed, 
But the quick choke comes to my throat, 
Vibrant to that old care, 
And ere I know, with trembling lips, 
I’ve prayed that other prayer! 
“That Other Prayer” as it appears in Higginson’s When the Birds Go North Again (1898).