Freedom’s Just Another Word For Nothing Left to Lose

I don’t have insight at this point into how English 101 is meant to function for Western. It follows a writing across the curriculum model so there must be some notion about preparing students for the rest of college in the administration’s brain. I don’t understand how administrative decisions are made at universities in general, much less our specific university. I also have to assume it is somehow related to capital, either in that that Western would like to gain more capital, or in that somehow (as Crowley mentioned) we’re tied to taxpayer dollars and the associated political constraints that come with that tie. Insofar as 101’s existence is tied to dollars and cents I instinctively distrust that existence, and insofar as it is potentially tied to political machinations, more distant than I can likely conceptualize, I begin to feel powerless. I don’t outright distrust Western as an institution, but the baggage it has to carry as a part of a larger academic and political system must weigh on it to a degree.

I have more, but still limited, insight into how 101 functions for the English department. It expands the graduate program by making enrollment for financially viable for a significant portion of grad students. From my perspective, it sort of seems like the English department would be unable to determine exactly how English 101 functions within Western. Of course, the marketed goal is that we prepare students to write across a variety majors, that they practice writing and translating meaning so that they can continue to translate meaning in their industrial design classes, philosophy classes, education classes, geology classes etc. However, if the tone of 513 is representative of a collective attitude, it seems that the function and purpose of 101 undergoes an evolution year to year or even quarter to quarter. It appears that 101 acts in some ways as a lab experiment or pedagogical research process.

I may be projecting my personal experience onto the English department as a whole here, but I think to a degree I am having the experience and thinking the thoughts that 513 and the English department (honestly what that refers to I’m not sure) want me to have/think. If my projection is at least somewhat accurate I want to express some ambivalence towards this attitude.

In some sense it feels like a more honest appraisal of what we are doing and a more dynamic process to say that we are actively researching our pedagogical standards and what English 101 actually intends as its outcome. It behooves any professional organization, from bakeries to banks, to examine the efficacy of their functions and the relevance of their outcomes. On the other hand, to envision my students as unknowing research participants feels pretty unethical, and to state outright that I really don’t know what I’m trying to accomplish feels irresponsible.

So, this admission forces me to articulate some sort of temporary mission, certainly not for the department or for Western, but rather a personal statement. And in doing so, I have to admit another thing, that I am really just stealing and adapting this mission from what Allie said in our staff meeting. My personal (and now that I’m writing it possibly vapid) goal, is to just keep encouraging my students. To get them to do the thing, and to find worth in themselves while they’re doing the thing. I also think that I want my students to find worth in themselves independent of my assessments, and very much so independent of their grades. Grades in our classroom feel like the closest tie to the distant political machinations that press on Western, and feel like the thing that strip my students’ freedom the most (aside from drowsiness). I hope that my students feel freedom to do what they want, that the stakes aren’t so high that their identities are infringed upon. This reads as a pretty sentimental and idealist goal, but it’s born out of a confused assessment of the project we undertake M/W/F. Okey doke! The end!

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