I could roundup a whole cast of adversarial teachers from my formative years that, if you were presented with snapshots of their wrongdoings, would shock you. I had one teacher that would pass out a math test to everyone in the room except me because “I would just fail anyway”. I had another teacher (both were female, not sure why that is important) who invited the class to participate in the always-popular “Snack Day” and, when I showed up cradling a box of Fig Newtons (the smart kid snack) I was told that I couldn’t join in the party, that I’d missed too much class (we moved A LOT) and I had to keep my dead down on the desk for the duration.

Were these instances inherently negative? Absolutely.

I don’t like the term “adversarial”, having suffered that painful dynamic as a student myself, would never want any student of mine to see me as a threat in ANY way. If my “adversarial” you mean challenging, appearing to be in opposition to what the student(s) want and only providing what they need, then I can dig that. I can see how an instructor taking on a softer approach to an adversarial role would be beneficial to students; honestly— I wish I had considered it before taking on the role of being a “friend” in my own classroom.

I am very approachable in walks of my life, I’m always laughing and chatting, my demeanor is that I’m “totally chill”- not too feminine nor too masculine, buoyed in between silently passive and articulately intense. A “soft” adversarial role is a smart choice, I’m learning now. To delineate an obvious separation from yourself as instructor and your students would allow you to push them, challenge them and question their choices & ideas more smoothly. I have painted myself into a “nice guy” corner, or to put it another way, marooned myself in the dreaded “friend zone”. To change my tone to even remotely adversarial now would be a betrayal.

My goal this winter break: to re-imagine my classroom persona and leadership role with unyielding parameters. To be adversarial in the way a coach is while still being authentic and approachable, perhaps maintaining the warmth I am known for as a person, a giver, a caretaker.