What makes me different from all of my students is that I am older than them and from a different generation.
What makes me different from some of my students is that I am a brown trans person from a working-class immigrant family.
These differences are facts, not in my control.
The extent to which difference is valuable or damaging is often determined by how difference is approached. Reflecting on difference – on identity, oppression, privilege – is not new to me and I think this is a valuable asset to have in one’s toolbox as a teacher. It can help in reflecting on dynamics in classroom discussions and how to support marginalized students to speak for more balanced conversations to emerge. It can help in shaping curriculum to facilitate awareness among students of issues concerning identity and power, how language and writing relate to this.
In my previous blog post, I was reflecting on how students may perceive me based on my identity. In reading “Feminist Pedagogy,” I was reminded how marginalized bodies experience this and it is common to grapple with one’s identity in the classroom as a figure of authority. The weight of this can be damaging in that it can be overwhelming to think about perceptions of bias working against you. However, it is also helpful to know that I have the tools to reflect on what I am experiencing – to understand whether it is fear based on social realities that can very well seep into the classroom, whether it is something I have internalized, or whether it is something that I have practice and ability in dealing with.
I can imagine students potentially feeling like they want to relate to their teacher and I wonder how much they feel they can do that. The main part of the class in which I shared something about myself was in sharing an example from my personal literacy timeline. I could see the effects of that – that it is useful and powerful to share something that has shaped me. It is something human to hang on to. This is valuable in that my personhood comes through despite differences between my students and I.
In many ways though, I don’t think I need or want my students to see me fully – I don’t believe it is there job. Respect is definitely an expectation I have but not a deep understanding of where I come from and who I am.
I do think it is my job to see them. I see them as young people and I see race and gender for sure when I see them. To me that is seeing markers that have shaped them and that may affect how they experience the classroom. I would like to create classrooms where there is room and openness to acknowledging multi-faceted identity and for that to be a norm present in readings, discussions, and in relation to how language makes meaning.