When I think of toxic behavior, I think of behavior that is at best unhealthy and at worst abusive. In a classroom setting, this could look like comments that undermine the safety and dignity of people or of the classroom itself as a respectful learning environment.

Fortunately, I have not had instances like this occur this quarter. The most questionable behavior I have encountered was when my class was locked out of our classroom and some students started vaping. I felt uncomfortable immediately and could see them eyeing me, curious if I would say something. I eventually did, saying vaping during class time was not allowed. I have mixed feelings about having said something and am not sure if it was the best course of action. What drove me to say something was a sort of panic rooted in a mix of things, from wanting students to be truly present in class to wanting students to respect me and the class itself. I took the moment as a testing of boundaries and me needing the courage to be direct and clear about expectations. I was worried that since it was taking place in front of everyone, me not saying something would be sending the message that it is ok to check out in class and I won’t as a teacher expect anything more. While talking about this with a friend who is a professor, he told me that he wouldn’t have said anything and that it is best to not assume student actions in the worst light, i.e. as a form of disrespect. He felt that first-years especially may not even know what is appropriate and that it is best to put energy towards the students who want to be there and set the tone of the class for them, more than anyone else. I have been reflecting on this conversation and how race and gender dynamics in the classroom impact my perception of what is undermining behavior or a test of boundaries and how I should respond to such moments. I don’t have answers quite yet but generally am interested in developing a teacher identity rooted more in positive affirmation more than disciplining tendencies.

In terms of a taxonomy of importance in toxic student behavior, I definitely think anything discriminatory is unacceptable. Otherwise, most things, even perhaps the above example, might fall into the category of disengaged. I have felt like during in-class work time, students are sometimes not working and instead are chatting or on their phones or simply zoned out. I haven’t figured out what the best solution is to this – how much I should try to direct their energy and attention to the task at hand or just let it go. Earlier this semester, a 2nd year MFA student and TA casually stated that she isn’t a babysitter, in regards to this very issue of how much students are working during class. I took this as another sign of being careful about how I direct my energy.

I do believe that everyone contributes to the energy and culture in the classroom. Toxicity is powerful in that it can affect an entire ecosystem and spread, infect, and normalize unhealthy or abusive language and actions, if gone unchecked. Sine I am lucky I haven’t had anything toxic happen this quarter and have simply had moments of students disengaging, my main reflections about this topic are an awareness of my own fearful response that their disengagement will spread to their peers if I don’t intervene. This fear is something I don’t want to give too much power to. I know the more grounded I am and the less reactive I am, the more I will provide an anchor to the classroom for a healthy ecosystem. I do think I am still learning and understanding what this looks like and am still hungry to hear more reflections and advice from people who have been teaching for some time.