Month: February 2020

[19.11.06]

12:15pm

I hit a weird wall yesterday where all of a sudden, I felt really stressed and frustrated at my level of Korean. Granted, it has been a few weeks since I had time to sit down and fully study on my own (separate from my KLI classes), but it was a very different experience where all of a sudden I felt a surge of ignorance and anxiety take over me as I found myself shutting down for the first time. As we approach week ten, a surge of pressure just seized me as I am realizing I only have six more weeks here. Even though I will be back next semester, I just know how different it will all be with all new classes, new people, and a new living situation. It’s like I can feel time escaping me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. That’s probably the worst feeling. All I can do is try and savor my time here as much as possible before going back to reality again

[19.11.06]

8:50pm

I’m slipping again. For the first time in a long time, but now, I feel like I am falling once again, only this time, attacked by a different set of factors. I’m trying to pinpoint my emotions and I’m slowly realizing what’s happening around me. I feel as though I have hit a major wall in my language acquisition which is making everything else seem so much more difficult. Time has only aggravated everything. As I lose days, I can’t help but sitting back and sit face to face with all of my insecurities resting on the things in my life. I feel as though I have been trying so hard to build up and fight for and how much I still need to prove, and yet, everything is crumbling around me. I don’t know what to do to stop this and I’m scared. I have to work on so much for myself and I feel as though I can’t just watch it all fade away. I can do this…this too will pass…right?

[19.11.18]

11:03pm

I feel so good~ I’m enjoying everything again thanks to some amazing friends and incredible experiences. Last week I felt a little strange, I felt like I was slowly recovering from my last hiccup; wait I kinda like that, a hiccup, because that’s all it was.  I’m reconnecting with old friends recently and honestly, I am really grateful for all of the people in my life in such a unique moment of my time here.  After having such good conversations with some really good friends back home on long bus rides around the city, it’s just another reason to love everything happening right now.

[19.12.08]

8:50pm

I feel different, in the best way possible. I feel like after just living my life without such self-imposed limitations and by putting myself out there more and more, I have been feeling really good! Even though it’s absolutely terrifying at times, I pushed past the fear and have been pleasantly surprised. I am truly surprised at myself.  It has become really motivating for me since I thought I couldn’t do anything and really proved myself wrong (especially today). I feel such relief~ earlier this week had felt like I had a major epiphany regarding my own identity (which continues to be arbitrary in itself) and I feel like now I am on a new journey in my own discovery in what makes me Korean. Although I have never felt less Korean in my life, I also feel as though there is so much more to my own cultural identity than I first realized and how much more there is to discover. Next semester is going to really challenge me as I wish to continue to put myself out there more like I did today. With just two weeks left, I’m just so happy to just make the most of it for myself. I know how fast these next few weeks are gonna fly, but I am just so glad to be here and truly enjoying it fully.

 

2019.11.1-2019.11.4

My first time in Busan!

After an early flight from Gimpo Airport, me and a friend met up with the rest of our group who arrived a few days before us. The second we landed in Busan, we immediately headed to our Airbnb, which funny enough was in the same building as the place the rest of our group had stayed at, just a few floors below!  With a claw machine, unlimited netflix, and plenty of board games, the nights we ordered in and played games were so much fun!

Gamcheon is absolutely stunning at all times of the day! After taking a small bus up the narrow and steep streets, we finally arrived in Gamcheon just in time. The crowds were dissolved, the clouds were setting in, and the night was approaching. We found a few good photo stops just in time before stopping at a beautiful rooftop cafe (that was famous for appearing in a popular Korean drama) and took our time relaxing and enjoying the sights at night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Along Haeundae beach, there is a beautiful path that takes you all along the coast. Probably my favorite stop so far~ After a small picnic of ricecakes and fruit, we walked all along the boardwalk and took in the breathtaking scenery alongside the calming sounds of the sea that I had missed so much.

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

해동 용궁사 Haedong Yonggungsa Buddhist Temple

And finally, we were able to catch a front-row seat for the Busan Fireworks festival which was absolutely incredible! We pulled out our mat, ran to the nearest convenience store to grab some snacks before the show, and sat along the water facing one of many sites to watch the beautiful fireworks.

 

 

[19.09.05]

3:15pm

This week has been rough. It’s like nothing seems to be going right. Don’t get me wrong, the first week leading up to the start of school was incredible (I mean besides the whole staying up for twenty hours to avoid jet lag). I traveled all around the city, seeing and experiencing so much in such a short amount of time. I saw an old friend for the first time in two years and spent even more time with new ones. And then the school year began full force, almost as if I had been hit by a truck. All of a sudden, my life went from being care-free and amazing to completely chaotic and out of control. My banking situation is a mess, I am unable to get textbooks for the one class I have been ready to study for, for seemingly my whole life. I have huge gaps between classes that I don’t know what to do with, and all I can feel is the stress and anxiety of being an exchange student, which I have been trying so desperately to avoid. Now I feel stuck, trapped, left feeling like a lost child amongst the never-ending city life that lurks outside these walls. I can only hope that next week will be better.

[19.09.11]

10:50pm

Things have finally gotten better. All of the banking craziness is finally under control and it feels like I can finally breathe. Today I finally bought the jacket for winter I really wanted and honestly, it’s my absolute favorite purchase. Classes this week were still carrying over from the introductions from the last week, so hopefully next week they will pick up. Not gonna lie though, it’s so nice being able to explore and hang around Sinchon. My diet finally got better after being able to get by banking all sorted out and I feel more at ease. Now I am excited to learn and continue living here. With the upcoming holiday, I am nervous with my spending recently, but honestly as long as I stay mindful, I’m sure I’ll be alright. Looking forward to club activities in the upcoming weeks!

[19.09.22]

4:50pm

Today was the first day I felt completely and utterly lost. I was on my way to a very important orientation and I found myself riding maybe 4-5 subways, and 4 buses that all led me away from the place I actually wanted to go to. All of my navigation apps all took me in different directions the minute I finally arrived in another location. I even tried to take a taxi, but even the taxi driver couldn’t help me and, in the end, I sadly had to give up because I was already beyond late; But anyways, in other news, I successfully finished my first full week of classes!