There are a few goals I hope to achieve during my semester abroad. My main goal is to revive the connection I once had to Israel. To give some context, my parents moved us to the USA when I was 2 years old, stripping me of the chance to grow up like a true Israeli. I lost the ability to fluently respond to my friends and family in Hebrew. I never developed the tough, sometimes rude, Israeli mannerisms that counter my polite and contained American ones. And I definitely don’t feel like the Israeli citizen that my name and passport indicate I am. I hope that by living in the country I was born in, not just for a summer but for 6 months, will allow me to rekindle what was once lost.

I also hope that this experience will shape me into a more independent and daring student, dancer and human being overall. I’ve always struggled to push myself outside my comfort zone throughout many aspects of my life and although Israel isn’t completely new territory, I’ll be forced to navigate through many unfamiliar situations.

I can confidently say that I’m most excited about learning Hebrew. The reason being that my grandma never learned English, so over the years I’ve had to maintain some sort of foundation of the Hebrew language in order to communicate with her. Although in the past her lack of English has felt like quite the burden, she is the reason that I can still speak Hebrew, despite my awful grammar, and I am very thankful for that. Some of the most frustrating moments in my life are when relatives, family friends or even strangers start asking me questions in Hebrew and although I can understand most of what their saying, I have to awkwardly respond in English, or even worse, with just a stiff nod and smile because I have no idea what they just said. I’ve always wanted to smoothly converse in our native language but with my obnoxious American accent and terrible usage of masculine/feminine verbs, it’s just too embarrassing. I’m eager to not only complete the Hebrew intensive, but also to immerse myself in the culture and put my refined Hebrew skills to the test.

Though, my eagerness does not extend towards every aspect of the program. Since high school, I had planned to either go to a university that offered Hebrew classes or to study abroad in Israel for a semester. Applying to Dance Jerusalem was not planned at all. Deciding to apply to the dance program and to send in an audition video was actually an easy decision; not because I really wanted to do it, but because I didn’t think I’d get in. My thought process was that if I’m minoring in Dance, I might as well apply even though it seems like a long shot. When I was accepted, I asked my study abroad advisor to double check, and when she confirmed it, I assumed it was because they were lacking funds or I just edited my audition video well. After knowing that I had this amazing dance opportunity available to me, I started to realize that I had already taken dance classes from each of the amazing, but few, faculty members at my home university. The idea that I could finish my minor not only with new peers and teachers, but in a completely different country, started to sound more and more enticing. However, at the same time, I constantly stressed and worried about not being trained or talented enough for the program. I messaged three different dancers who were participating in the program at the time and explained to them my concerns. They told me I had nothing to worry about and that the level over there was quite varied. After speaking to them and doing TONS of research about the program on my own, I’d say that I’m much less worried about it. However, it’s still my biggest concern.

As far as implementing strategies to assist me in reaching my goals, no matter what I am trying to achieve, I’ll have to begin with an open mind. Especially in the dance classes, it’ll be important to let go of any inhibitions I have in order to really take advantage of the new styles and movements. Also, although I have family in Israel, I’ve decided to live in the student apartments with the other international students. I’m hoping it will push me to become more independent, to meet new people and to explore Israel on my own. Lastly, this blog will serve not only as a space for reflecting on new experiences, but also as a strategy for maintaining a genuine presence throughout my journey. Continually writing about my adventures, ideas and feelings will allow me to really understand how this new environment is affecting me as well as how to make the most of it.

As excited as I am to embark on this new chapter in my life, I will be sad to leave my family and friends behind. Despite these conflicting feelings, I must continue preparing for the next 6 (possibly 9) months! The next entry I write will be posted in Israel…so until then!!